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“We must learn our limits. We are all something, but none of us are everything.” Blasie Pascal
“Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths.” Etty Hillesum
“A little stress can motivate, but a whole lot of stress can leave us incapacitated. Once our levels reach crisis point our Brains can go into meltdown.” J. Hancock “Teach me thy way, O Lord; and lead me On a level path.” Psalm 27:11 Highways have rest stops! Does your life? Kim Thomas “Thus we shall always keep the depths of our souls free and balanced, and we shall cut off thoroughly the futile things which embarrass our hearts, and which prevent them from turning easily to God.” Francois Fenelon Our Adversary majors in three things: Noise, hurry and crowds. If he can keep us engaged in ‘muchness’ and ‘manyness’, he will rest satisfied.” Richard Foster
Ceasing From Stress Have you been beaten down under relentless daily stree and commitments beyond reason? Are you worn and torn? By the end of your day are you tied up in knots trying to balance family, work, friends, finances, and life in general? Do you lie in bed in the morning wondering how you can possibly survive the coming day? It may not be much comfort, but at least neither of us is alone in this cesspool of stress.” Stress is the physical and emotional effect of life responsibilities and commitments that are out of control. And it is one of the most obvious “rest thieves” in our lives. The raw statistics show that 23 million-or one in ten-Americans suffer from some sort of anxiety disorder….Americans see health-care professionals for stress-related problems per year at a cumulative cost of just over $6 billion. Rashes, headaches, gastrointestinal conditions, muscle spasms, back problems, insomnia, and high blood pressure are just some of the “run of the mill” stress conditions…It aggravates almost any other existing condition and has generated its own vocabulary of mental-health issues… It is beyond epidemic. It is becoming normal to be stressed.” It is so accepted that even grocery stores stock ‘stress relieving gadgets’. “Self-imposed and other imposed expectations and demands we realistically cannot meet result in failed obligations and unmet goals and deflated self-esteem, not to mention irritable and frustrated mothers, wives, and employees… If you overeat or under-eat, overwork or don’t have work, have a difficult job, new job, or old job, are a single mother or parent with a husband(or you feel you parent your husband), have a new place to live, or a tired old place, are married or divorced, have a heartbeat or pulse, you are stressed. It is unavoidable in this life. But that doesn’t mean we helplessly surrender to the inevitability of it all. If we are to enter the rest God has prescribed for us, we will have to take an occasional pause from stress.” When our hearts and minds threaten to be overwhelmed with the goings-on of the day just remember this simple overriding principle from Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God.”(NIV) As we explore the possibilities of ceasing and feasting in order to enter a restoring rest, this is the message that must linger in our hearts. It is a call for this moment, and for this lifetime… There is no more comforting or reassuring place than the stillness that recognizes God’s presence. It doesn’t cause the stressors of life to magically disappear, but it begins to put things in perspective that can lead to a more sane existence. (pages 22-24)
Here are some things that could help you to cease from stress 1) Name the Stress. As we do this we begin to take the power away from the stress to control our souls, e.g. Overwork, unrealistic expectations, family pressures, deadlines or fears for provision. Give them a name but don’t feel the need to begin to solve them all just yet. 2) Realistically prioritize, and eliminate what can be eliminated. Prioritize! Put your stressors in order of intensity. What is giving you the most stress right now? How important is this? The things that give us the most stress are not always the things we should do first. Put your stressors into context. E.g. Bills that are due to be paid have a higher priority than digging out weeds. 3) Retire from superwoman status. We put pressure on ourselves to achieve and accomplish beyond what any other person expects. Ceasing from stress may entail the surrender of our own expectations of ourselves…. Doing ‘the best you can’ is not a cliché of the lazy…The best you can honors the person God made you to be, and at the same time it recognizes the limits and frailties of our creaturely status. (ibid: 26 paraphrased) These are all starting places. You will have to personalize your own approach to ceasing from stress. Deciding that you don’t want to live as a stressed out person is the most important step. Stepping off the highway to a more quiet and restful way of living is a courageous move. Feasting on Balance Finding a state of equilibrium in life requires that we rightly measure how much we can safely carry before we lose our footing. As we increase our stress load we usually try to hold on to too much, and our ability to keep a balanced lifestyle is lessened. Some stress is actually good and can help us have a balanced life. A little pressure can keep us motivated. Too much pressure and we loose all equilibrium and end up crashing.. Think of the tyres on your car. Each one needs to be balanced, if they are not they wobble, especially at high speed. This can cause vibrations in the steering wheel and make the car less responsive. To correct this, the right amount of weight must be applied to the correct spot. Too little, or too much will not work, it takes someone to measure accurately just how much is needed for each tyre. Each one of us needs to find a working balance for our lives. How much can each of us realistically carry? Sometimes the answer to this question is much and sometimes when circumstances change the answer is less. Just as tyres need rebalancing due to wear and tear so to do we. We need to be constantly assessing what load we are to carry. The author suggests the following as one way of assessing our load. “What is in your hands? Consider all of your responsibilities and commitments, and picture yourself holding them all. Can we still see your face from behind the pile? Now mentally set each thing down at the feet of Christ, one at a time. As you step back, look at all you thought you could carry. Prayerfully reach for the things you must continue to carry, for example, being a wife, mother, a growing woman of faith--and realize that, frankly, not much else is absolutely necessary. From there, ask the Lord to impress upon you which things you should invest yourself in. As you feel peace, reach for those things and add them to your pile. This is a practical exercise that will help you to put your stress load in order of priority.”(ibid: 32) Reflection Time. What is the main reason that you put pressure on yourself to achieve? What are you expectations for yourself? Are your expectations realistic, are they yours, or are they ones you borrowed from others? How do you tell the difference between just being tired and being stressed? (I’d like to know) Sometimes my workload does not change but my reaction to it does. Yesterday I wasn’t stressed about my commitments, but today I am. Can you relate to this thinking? Sometimes our load can be correct but other factors weigh in to tip the scales. Health, hormones, lack of sleep, and often times lack of faith. What should we do when this happens? Do you have some good stress busting ideas to share with us? I find a ‘foot tickle’ can work wonders in relaxing me, and when I relax I don’t worry so much. What works for you? Emotional Rest Stops. Ceasing from stress, feasting on balance. Be watching for your stress triggers. They can be deadlines, family conflicts, financial expenses, health issues, lack of exercise, poor communication, bad eating habits, sudden changes in plans, or poor spiritual-life maintenance. What ever the triggers are, write them down and plan a strategy to deal with them. For example, if you know you have a deadline coming up, avoid committing to many social gatherings, freeze a pot of soup for meals, schedule “play dates” for the children during the two days before the deadline. … What are you obsessive about? Do all the beds have to be made every day? Do all the bathrooms have to be cleaned with a toothbrush? Do the dishes have to be done every night before you go to bed? Does your hair have to be done “everyday”? Bring your obsessions into balance with effective compromises. For example, let me answer the four questions I’ve just asked with compromises. a) Get comforters instead of bedspreads (doonas) so you can throw them in place instead of having to carefully fold and tuck then. Eliminate the top sheet on tall the beds. b) Purchase those canisters of Easy Wipes to quickly clean sinks and surfaces in the bathroom. Then plan to thoroughly clean the bathroom on a looser schedule. c) Leave the dishes occasionally- just rinse them. And try one night a week with paper plates. d) Buy a hat you look great in and use it from time to time. It gives you an option and frees you from having to do your hair every day. Commit to being ‘good’ at something instead of trying to do everything. It is okay to major at something and minor at everything else. I am not saying to celebrate mediocrity. Bu the majority of life is spent in handling the ordinary. Decide to be okay with ‘ordinary’. We honor God when we do our best-even when we are encountering everyday, average, unglamorous opportunities. Feed yourself emotionally and spiritually. A balanced life is not always about spending yourself. Take time to replenish you well. Trace the outline of you hand on a piece of paper. In the middle of the hand, write down all the things you are committed to doing or are responsible for. Hear God say to you “What is in your hand?” As you feel led, cross off the ‘snakes’ in your hand (the things that should not be there). Make a new list of what you feel comfortable committing to now. Make a ‘perspective’ note card. Write out Philippians 4:8 on a card that you can put near the phone, or in the car, or in your purse. Remember what is really worth stressing about and what isn’t. After all the world wont end just because you failed to meet one deadline.
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